If someone asks me what creativity is, my mind would immediately jump to say that it’s a spark. A moment in time that strikes to act, express and well… create. As a collective, we reward and recognise creativity when it is fruitful. When the evidence of labour is seen. What about the quiet times?
Times when the spark dims and lays dormant no matter how many times we try to invigorate it. The dreaded creative block. For days, weeks and even months on end we never seem to come up with anything good. It just doesn’t hit the mark.
I have barely written 3 poems over the last few years. What was once a lifeline to process my emotions and an outlet for creativity was suddenly not easy to do. I tried changing the way I write, the platforms and the scenery. Nothing seemed to work and I slowly started writing less and less. Then life captured my attention. The months rolled into years. My words did not come. After many frustrating attempts, I stopped trying.
I started finding recluse in my writing when I was fifteen. It started with an English assignment on a book that completely moved me: The Book Thief by Markus Zuzack. This book was pivotal in the way I started to realise how the world operated. Death a character that comes alive through personification, passes casual remarks on the state of humanity.
“I am haunted by humans,” and “It kills me sometimes, how people die.”
― Marcus Zusak, The Book Thief
Throughout the book after taking a soul Death always takes a moment to admire the sky.
“People observe the colours of a day only at its beginnings and ends, but to me it's quite clear that a day merges through a multitude of shades and intonations with each passing moment. A single hour can consist of thousands of different colors. Waxy yellows, cloud-spot blues. Murky darkness. In my line of work, I make it a point to notice them.”
― Marcus Zusak, The Book Thief
And somehow this quote has always stayed with me. I started looking at the sky as often as I remembered. My photo library is filled with pictures of the sky in all its intonations. It grounded me. To take a moment to be in the moment.
I realised that just like Death commented, we fail to recognise the beauty of the sky throughout the day; just like how we forget to recognise the beauty of creativity in all its ebb and flow. We commemorate sunrises and sunsets just like we praise the initial spark or the outcome. But we fail to embrace the times when we feel blocked or separated from our creative energy.
The work reveals itself as you go.
This quote changed my outlook on the creative process. Just like, how light shines the brightest in a dark room, we need moments of quietness and darkness during the creative process.
I understood that my creative blocks were not moments of disconnect but moments that fortified my connection, emotions and skillset as an artist. Every time my creativity ebbs and flows, I carve up more space to understand my ideas and refine them.
These years without writing poems have helped me realise that I did not enjoy how I was viewing my poetry. Creating for likes and follows (even when I tried hard to not think about it) was a big factor in dimming my love for writing. But in these few short years, I have uncovered many versions of myself. I have gained and lost. I am growing every day to be the person that I hope to become. I have accepted that these few years were not setbacks but stepping stones towards a newer form of my writing (I deeply enjoy writing this newsletter at the moment!). I hope that one day not too far along in the future I can return to my poems with a fresh perspective and grace.
Like Death, we need to learn to appreciate and embrace the ebb and flow. To enjoy the moments of sparks and blur. To embrace the entirety of the creative process.
Your perspective is so inspiring!